Friday, August 13, 2010

Six W's; Work will win when wishing won't.

I don't know what I'm going to do today. Yesterday was alright, but I'm sort of disappointed in the calorie total. Today, I woke up at 3:00 (like I do almost every morning) and ate a fiber fit bar (110 calories.) I really don't know WHY I ate that. I wasn't even really hungry. I guess I thought it would be fine since it was only 110 calories, but still...eep! So, today will have to be a 500 calorie day.
Hard boiled egg (70)
Toast (90)
Apple Harvest Salad (115 calories)
Something below 150

Plus the granola bar I just ate, that comes out to about 535 calories.
I weighed myself this morning, and I weighed 151 again. :( I know it's not REAL weight, of course, because I would have to eat a lot more than 1500 calories to gain a pound in one day, but it was still disappointing to see the number go up. It's the weight of the food I ate yesterday and have yet to fully digest. (Hullo laxies! We meet again.) Sorry to be gross, I know you don't want to hear about that.
I'm kind of sort of proud of my body. Not because it's TOTALLY HAWT or anything like that, but simply because of how hard it's working. I'm already recovered from my operation, 2 weeks later, and I've lost 13 lbs. to boot. My hips are still a little lumpy, and my stomach still has too much fat on it, and don't get my started on the cellulite (ew.) but it's better than it used to be, and even at it's worst point, it was still pretty average (for the normal, size 12-10 american woman.)
Everything that is still a little funny about my body can be fixed with some weight loss. Sometimes I'm really hard on it, but then I come back to reality and I realize that it's really, really not that bad.
And then sometimes, my mother will say something like "sometimes you look like you're pregnant!" (yes. She actually said this, a couple of days ago to be exact.) That can be fixed with posture and weight loss. I have the tendency to stand with my pelvis rotated inward (I broke my pelvis in eight places, it does weird stuff sometimes) which results in a little bit of an exaggerated stomach. But if I stand with my pelvis rotated outward a bit (meaning backwards, straightening my spinal column), it has the opposite effect. So, basically, proper posture. (And anyway, who is she to talk? She's 200 lbs. You want to talk to me about looking chubby? I love her to death, but I really don't think she should be critisizing ME.)
Anyway, hopefully, after taking this laxitive and eating 535 calories today, I hope I will be able to get below 150 by tomorrow. Can I do it? We shall see.

Later- I was reading "Love, Veggies, and Yoga" (New blog, must follow if you love health and yoga!) and I stumbled across this quote-
"Scott's (comfort food) would be white potatoes, my mother's would be cookies, and mine would be super hot coffee. Not really a "food" but it does comfort me!"
That really hit home, because that encapsulates the idea of this blog. Why need FOOD to comfort you. I think it's a much healthier coping mechanism to comfort yourself with a walk, or super hot coffee. I'm getting better at doing that. It's not because we're WEAK, it's simply because of evolution- it's in our biology to want simple carbs and sugars, and those things make us feel better. But, I believe that every one of us has the ability to over come these primitive desires and use our BRAINS to figure out a different way to comfort ourselves.

1 comment:

  1. You woke up at 3 a.m.? I'd be a zombie if I did that! I wish you the best of luck with you 500 calorie day! I hate it when I eat a lot one day, step on the scale the next morning, and BAM! I gained three pounds overnight! I know it's probably water & the weight of the undigested food still lurking around, but it's still disappointing.

    I wish I had some laxxies, but the Parental Unit found them & trashed them because they're "bad for you" and I should just "eat more fiber instead." :/

    Glad you're better from the operation! And wow, 13 pounds is awesome! A lot of times, I'm really hard on my body too, but then when I see someone who's in worse shape than I am weight-wise, like 300 pounds or so, I have this moment where I'm like, "You know, maybe I shouldn't be so hard on my body..."

    I like what you mentioned about food being a comfort & coping mechanism. "Food as a reward" seems to be ingrained into our minds since we were wonder we all love it so much! I like the idea of finding something that's not food-related as a reward. Like if I reach a goal weight, instead of "rewarding" myself of food, which just defeats the purpose, I could reward myself with a Grade Cafe Estima with sugar-free cinnamon dolce & 5 packs of Splenda (a.k.a., I really great tasting, 0-calorie coffee) from Starbucks =)