Sunday, August 15, 2010

Shit. Shit. I'm overeating. Damn damn damn.
Today, I couldn't do my fluids fast because I realized, with horror, that I couldn't sit there sipping iced tea while Ian and Kai ate food. I just couldn't. So, I decided that I would eat.
I did okay all morning, Until we went to a Mexican restaurant and...I got Huevos Rancheros. I was going to just eat the eggs and salsa but...Ian said to me "Eat, it's fine. Eat." Why did I listen to him? Ugh! And then we went over to get ice cream and now it's gotten way. Out. Of. Hand! Ugh.

- Posted from the outside world.

Okay. *breathes* By my calculations, I didn't do TERRIBLY. It felt like I was binging, but it really was just plain old eating! Maybe a bit too much candy, maybe a little more than I would like, but frankly, it wasn't a binge. I'm okay. And, frankly, the metabolism needs that boost. So, really, I'm okay.
Too me, it feels like a binge. If I didn't sit down and think about it responsibly, I probably would have lost total control and I would have eaten a ridiculous amount of food. Maybe 3000 calories or 5000 calories. That would have sucked! I'm glad I sat down, added it up, and really thought about it hard before that happened. Because right now, my calorie total is looking more normal, which is good for my metabolism and my spirits. Of course, I will still feel like a total pig. Of course, tomorrow, I will still obsess over the numbers and bite my lip. But, it's not as bad as it could be.

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