Saturday, January 08, 2011
I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of being unhappy and comparing myself to other people. I'm fucking sick and tired of thinking that if I don't restrict, I'm weak and fat. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of having BDD and relapsing into it, and finding solace in this blog and other blogs and thinking it's okay to do this to myself. I want to recover. I want to be better. I don't want to do this any more. I don't give a flying fuck if I have a diagnosis of EDNOS or not. I don't care if I have a "real" eating disorder or not. This is retarded. I'm sick of it. I don't want to be sick. I'm sorry. I'm leaving. Call me weak. Call me stupid. Feel like you're better than I am because you are ana. But you're not. I want health and I can't fully embrace it knowing this blog is here. Goodbye.