Saturday, March 26, 2011
I'm feeling so much better now. I don't know what was wrong with me but...I'm doing better. I hung out with my best friend, we made a picnic, rode bikes, and did a lot of talking, so I feel a lot better. Problem, she noticed my weight loss. It's so weird. I only lost five lbs, but she was like "You look like you've lost a lot of weight." She also noticed my eating. When I urged her to eat more, she said "Whatever, Candice. All you had was a small slice of pizza and a 100 calorie salad today." Shit, what the fuck? She's the FOURTH one of my friends to notice! What the hell! It's like they're all so fucking hyperaware of what I put in my mouth. Jesus titty christ guys. Stop being so obsessed with what I eat...unfortunately, now I have to figure out lies to tell all of them so they'll get off my ass about it. I just said to them "Yeah, I haven't had much of an appetite recently, it's really odd." But then, unfortunately, my friend Lorilei saw my test results for an eating disorder questionarre on my phone and said "Candice, take care of yourself better." Ugh. What the hell? What are the chances that she would just happen to see that over my shoulder? Whatever. I've decided, I'm going to tell her and my other friend, Michele, that I'm fine. I just wasn't feeling well and I've started eating more...And I'm going to pack a full (300 calorie) lunch, make sure to make a show of eating it in front of them and bring two "snacks." (that I will give away.) so that it'll look like I'm eating normally. That should get them off my ass. And when it comes to Morgan (best friend, spend a lot of time with her) I guess I'll just have to eat as normally as possible when I hang out with her...maybe I can get away with 1000, 1200 calories.