Saturday, March 26, 2011


I feel so numb. I feel empty. I just don't feel...I'm tired and I just don't want to move. I'm so numb. I don't know what is wrong with me. I'm not depressed...I just can't feel any emotion at all. Sadness happiness excitement...I just can't feel it right now. I don't know what is wrong with me.
I have this huge desire to binge. I want to binge, binge binge. I want to eat cinnamon rolls and veggie burgers and hot chocolate and french fries and everything I can get my hands on because I'm so hungry but I don't want to eat anything because it's all so disgusting. But I want to feel something, taste something, anything. I don't know what is wrong with me. I can't binge, I can't I can't I can;t. I overdosed on benadryl yesterday, trying to feel something, wandered around in a cloud for four hours. I got lost in my school parking lot- that was fun XD- and just couldn't differentiate between reality and fantasy. It was weird.
I'm going to take Vyvanse. Kill my appetite so I won't binge, and I'll actually feel something.

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