I haven't weighed myself still. I don't want to see the number. I'm afraid that I've some how gained weight, and that will just be horrible if I have.
I'm just so sick of eating, of food, of always having to think and obsess and wonder if something is healthy or not. I'm so fucking annoyed with everybody telling me different things, of thinking somethings healthy but having somebody else say "That's full of sugar!" There's so much conflicting information out there. Should I eat a lot of protien? A lot of fat? No carbs? An even balance of the three? I'm just so sick of it all! I'm so annoyed with food, healthy food, unhealthy food, it doesn't matter! I'm sick of the guilt I feel when I eat. I'm sick of feeling bad about myself when my friend mentions that she hasn't been eating much lately, and feeling like such a fatty. I'm so sick of my fat friend saying that she's the same size as me, and my best friend overeating with me late at night and laughing the next day at how unhealthy we are. I'm sick of wanting food, of dieting and dieting and exercising and not losing anything. I'm sick of my stubborn metabolism.
I'm so fucking sick and tired of eating.